Q: What is the Information Superhighway?

  • A: It’s just like the Internet, except:
    • It’s a lot more expensive.
    • You can’t post, and there’s no killfile.
    • There’s no alt.sex or alt.drugs.
    • The new rec.humor.funny has a laugh track.
    • There’s a commercial break every 10 minutes.
    • Everything is formatted to 40 columns for TVs.
    • The free software costs you US$2 per Mbyte to FTP, more for long distance.
    • There’s a commercial break every 10 minutes.
  • A: It’s just like cable TV, except:
    • It’s a lot more expensive.
    • The picture isn’t as good.
    • There are 500 channels of pay-per-view and home shopping.
    • You can watch any episode of Gilligan’s Island or any Al Gore speech for only $2.
    • There are no public-access channels.
    • There’s a commercial break every 10 minutes.
  • A: It’s just like renting videos, except:
    • It’s a lot more expensive.
    • There’s only 1 percent of the selection.
    • There’s no porn.
    • There’s no pause, fast-forward, or rewind, and it costs you another $3.95 if you want to watch something twice.
    • There’s a commercial break every 10 minutes.
  • A: It’s just like the telephone, except:
    • It’s a lot more expensive.
    • There’s no one to talk to.
    • Every number is a toll call.
    • There’s a commercial break every 10 minutes.

(posted anonymously to the Net)

Borrowed from Wired Magazine 2.11, page #37.
I just thought it would fit in perfectly, and it did. Thanks to the wonderful anon. poster.